Ira Bryck

Helping Leaders Grow

  • 88 yo /Needham MA / Amherst MA / university teaching
  • 72 yo / Queens, NY/ Amherst, MA / 32 years ago was better than Long Island to raise kids
  • 86 yo / Paterson NJ / Amherst MA / college leadership
  • 79 yo / Belmullet, County Mayo, Ireland / Amherst / moved here for the live music and culture scene in the 60s..
  • 73 yo / Queens, NY / Amherst MA / House owned by my wife moved in in 1982
  • 76 yo / Oceanside, NY / Amherst, MA
  • 70 yo/Rochester,NY / Northampton MA / natural beauty and music and arts
  • 74 yo/ Charleston, SC/Amherst/ fell in love with the area in 1980
  • 78 yo/  now Amherst, MA/ retired painting professor
  • 76 yo / Long Island / Westboro, MA / settled after college in Boston
  • 68 yo / Bronx, NY / Hadley, MA / best of Brooklyn AND the Ozarks
  • 66/Manhattan NY/Amherst MA/moved to start the first East Coast cohousing community.
  • 57 yo / Wareham, Massachusetts
  • 49 yo /Boston / Ludlow
  • 58 yo / Queens, NY / Monmouth Jct, NJ 
  • 75 yo Springfield Ma/Amherst Ma
  • 61 yo/ Rhode Island / t’s beautiful and away from a crazy unsafe neighbor at my last residence. 
  • 59 yo / Holyoke, MA / love my neighborhood, and close to my aging parents
  • 77 yo/Dover, New Jersey/North Wales, PA/mid-retirement one level home with large garden
  • 50yo / Springfield, MA / Wilbraham MA / born in Wilbraham and relatives in the area 
  • 81 yo, Boston/Palm Beach Gardens FL, and Plymouth, MA- chasing the sun
  • 63 yo /Encino, CA/Hadley MA
  • 70 yo / Rochester NY / moved back to help out with Grandson
  • 68 yo/Plymouth MA/Deerfield MA/ been loving the Valley since 1978
  • 71 yo/NYC/Baltimore MD/once was a compromise, then easy, affordable, pleasant
  • 76 yo/Hibbing, MN/Baltimore, MD, moved because marriage
  • 59 yo/Stockton California/ after college came back to marry my wife and never left
  • 43 yo/Espanola NM/MA/ moved here as a kid after parents got divorced
  • go to survey and add your own responses
  • http://go to survey and add your own responsesWhen I look in the mirror I see an old lady but I still have the wonder and mentality of an 8 year old
  • I am as old as my old uncles, when I was young, but feel younger
  • I am not supposed to be alive still after many close calls.
  • I am still intellectually active; not so much, physically
  • I am the age my parents were, and they were the old folks. I am still active mentally and physically and enjoying life without meds, surgeries or financial need beyond my level of a good life.
  • I am filled with advice for all
  • That I don’t feel my age but that I can feel changes in stamina, strength, etc. My father at 89 was also surprised at how old he was.
  • I always thought I’d be dead by now but I’m still alive.
  • I thought my nearly lifelong “hidden disability” would have taken me out by now.
  • I have a hard time accepting limitations due to age, very hard to admit I can’t do everything I always did.  Even after indications like prostate cancer and hip replacement!
  • I thought I was 37 years old for 37 years. When I was younger I had so many surgeries that I lost count, thereby assuming I had already gone through what old people endure. Then two things recently happened to me, one that almost took my life, the other a broken shoulder that will soon need shoulder replacement surgery. I have other pains and aches also. So I have faced a reality check, that I am now 78, but my spirit is steadfast and my life has both meaning and love in it. I have time to paint my best paintings yet and am doing all that I can to keep my mind and body and spirit alive and healthy, in spite of setbacks, (pain)!
  • I have so much to offer and don’t have an audience or a clap
  • Each decade (starting with the half-decade from 15-20) has been better than the one before.
  • I’m still me (if I ever was). Consciousness doesn’t seem to change.
  • I think less about the number and more about what remains. 
  • I feel much better than I thought I would !
  • The contrast of being in really good physical condition compared to peers and many younger men AND how quickly the physical challenges are coming at me (hearing aids, cataracts, tendon tears…)
  • How quickly it came upon me! The years floated gently by and suddenly you’re old. Bingo. 
  • My aunt died when my cousin (10 years my senior) was 16. Everyone told me how similar I was to my cousin. I spent from age 6 to 16 expecting my mother to die when I turned 16. My mom died last year when I was 60. Those extra 44 years felt like a gift.  Now that both parents are gone I feel myself teeing up for the next great adventure in the world beyond. Feeling blessed to make it this far and each decade seems better than the last. Hoping that continues. 
  • I am surprised I can physically still play softball 3/x week & I still have the drive & energy to reach all my goals and dreams.  
  • That I have so much energy and mostly good health
  • The aches and pains that come out of seemingly nowhere
  • Physical loss yet mental acuity retained
  • I have had to admit to myself that I am no longer middle aged. I prefer elder to old but both still make me wince as in my mind I’m really the collection of all my ages.
  • How quickly it passed. I’m astonished at the fact I can look back on 50 years of adulthood. I remember my friend’s 40 yo father saying: “Some day you’ll find the weeks will go by like days, and the months go by like weeks.” So true
  • How much younger we are at this age than our parents and grandparents
  • Feeling surprisingly good–most days I don’t even notice my age, but worried about the future
  • How quickly I got there and how quickly things start to fall a part, turn colors, grow, and hurt.
  • I still feel like a kid. Don’t realize that I am now a grown up.
  • http://go to survey and add your own responsesLess of a “should” and more of “I see why to”
  • I have reached the age where medicine is more of the ART than the SCIENCE
  • I have learned to be resilient and work hard to bounce back. No more rehab or nursing 
  • I never thought about not living healthily, but pay more attention to what to do or not to do.
  • Always interested in self care
  • I see more doctors than I used to. Quicker to make an appointment.
  • I’m trying to change “I can do this” to, “I can do this, but should I?”
  • Much to say, perhaps it is best summed up with the word “balance.”
  • Resent limitations due to age/health – but enjoy retirement status which allows freedom of schedule, less responsibility.
  • My mantra is exercise and I gave myself a gift, probably 40 years ago to do a daily hour
  • I pay attention to when I need medical help, and exercise daily, eat healthily, be good to others, love landscapes even more, keeping optimistic and driven.
  • I have very little control and try not to take in anyone’s toxic stories
  • I’m less motivated to seek pleasure in ways that might be unhealthy
  • I’ve never once thought about changing my lifestyle. I might do less, relative to my earlier age, but that has more to do with available time than ability to generate the necessary energy or effort. 
  • I pay way more attention to rest, surrounding myself with ambitious people  & eat healthy food
  • Not for the faint of heart! More self compassion, balance in working out and doing what I enjoy
  • I have always taken care of myself so I am fortunate that I am still, at this point, in good health. 
  • The idiom ‘you are what you eat’ means more. We are accumulations of our habits. 
  • I have always been active and taken care of myself. I have a few aches and pains, but I never let that stop me.  I am very active (especially compared to others my age)
  • I am careful to consult doctors on a regular basis for preventive care. I also understand better the importance of exercise, good diet, lots of sleep and mental stimulation in staying younger than my calendar age
  • I’m paying more attention to the tried and true methods for self-care, not the current fads
  • More interest in personal growth and health care
  • I am much more sensitive to my body’s needs and more willing to listen to/act upon those needs. I tell myself, multiple times a  day, ‘thank you body for being healthy, strong and beautiful.’ I love indulging in this bit of gratitudinal thinking.
  • When I wake now the only thing that is stiff are my joints.
  • I started exercising in earnest starting in my early 40s. I’m so glad I did. If I go without it for more than a week or two, I really lose ground.
  • When I put on my underwear now, I notice that I stand close to my bed in case I fall over while balancing on one leg
  • Very lucky to have good health care and ability to exercise
  • I don’t take it for granted–I need to keep moving and fixing what I can.
  • I realize that someday has become today. There is no more waiting around. If I want a healthy long retirement that includes doing lots of activities with my wife, family, friends and new granddaughter on the way, I need to start training for retirement now.
  • Strength training is my main focus. A little more risk adverse since getting hurt now means that I can’t workout for longer periods of time.
  • Hip: good to do PT regularly
  • Bring framed pictures to the hospital. It feels homey
  • No surgeries, but I do have a more conscious sense of what is now a reach (e.g., being up on a ladder when no-one is home, not asking for help with a heavy duty lift). I wear strap on-cleats when walking outside during the winter, and  drink more water regularly
  • Whatever you do, Do Not Fall. Don’t even try going 200+ feet to the mailbox without the walker–just in case!
  • Falling can be really dangerous; be careful not to fall
  • Working out and PT are very important
  • PT is crucial. I find I am more careful about falling, etc.
  • I haven’t had any surgeries, but I fell off my kitchen counter the other day and got a concussion, and will try to think first and avoid unintended consequences.
  • Still anxious about medical/dental treatments, but have learned to “surrender” to the helpers who know what they are doing.
  • This is learning the hard way!  I now think of cancer as a chronic illness, not a death sentence.  Hip replacement is scary and inconvenient, but can be very rewarding after the work necessary for recovery.
  • I should not climb ladders anymore or race up the stairs with my arms full. I still need to learn how to ask for help.
  • positive vibes really help and everyone’s experiences are different
  • It’s nice to be pampered. Health care professionals pamper me.
  • Shoulder: Result of a baseball injury. My main takeaway from that experience was that I know what is best for my self-care. Doctors are just glorified car mechanics. 
  • I love recovery & being forced to rest!
  • Commit to physical therapy and you will almost always get really good results – continue to focus on weak areas of the body beyond formal “PT”. Second opinions from very experienced professionals can really pay off – even avoid unnecessary procedures. 
  • I was nearly immobile with a bad back and surgery fixed me up. I am so grateful and give thanks for the skill of the surgeon. 
  • Worry doesn’t help. Seek a professional opinion about your symptoms. 
  • I have had no surgeries and the one health issue I have had, a bout of stage 1 lymphoma, was helped by my otherwise good health. I still have original hips, knees, etc.
  • Get a second opinion first.  And if you see/hear a trend, don’t procrastinate and get it done
  • AVOID THEM UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
  • You can’t open windows for 6 weeks after having your uterus removed. Anesthesia is amazing. Always get a second opinion when you get a big diagnosis.
  • Been lucky not to need much surgery, so far. Grateful for my cataract surgery which has been a life changer!
  • Like above, no cataract yet, some day
  • So far, prostate surgery, cataracts, knee surgery.  Everything healed in time, so I need to be patient in letting my body heal, but at the same time push myself to recover physically.
  • I haven’t had too many surgeries yet but feel like they are coming. I’ve learned not to be afraid of pushing your doctor, do research and ask questions. You have to be your best advocate. 
  • Detached retina, made me really grateful for my ability to see. Also made me realize that I need to go to the doctor sooner when I think there is a problem.
  • I wake up several times a night to pee. I’m worried about my prostate (does that matter if I’m female?) Then there is the terror of waking my husband up when I slip into bed and start slamming pillows and covers around.
  • I have tried a hot pink sleep aid and love it but my doc says it’s got a correlation with dementia so I stopped that. I’ve switched to plenty of exercise in the fresh air and two fingers of Madeira before I go to bed.
  • I fall asleep much earlier and wake up very early
  • I seem to nap all day and wake up every three hours at night to urinate
  • I have one or two short (15 minutes) naps a day.  I go to bed earlier; wake up at least twice each night.
  • I have never had a problem falling asleep anywhere or anytime my body just feels like it, as when I am sitting reading or watching a show I’m not really into. I stay up late and need only 7 hours a night, sometimes with one trip to the loo.
  • I require less sleep and a few naps
  • Currently, I sleep about 5-6 hours a night, wake up 4-6AM, have breakfast and usually nap for an hour. I take more naps than ever, but I see that I take them mostly because I am bored or have nothing to do.
  • I still sleep and wake up as needed or is it mere whimsy?
  • I can’t sleep as long as I used to. Nap occasionally for an hour or two. Love nap
  • Sleep apnea diagnosis changed my life – now I am rested but it complicates getting up at night and getting back to sleep.  Naps help if I can avoid disturbances! 
  • I have intense shoulder pain until the surgery, (then there is pain after the surgery). Pain interrupts my sleep.During the day if I overwork I have to lay down and I fall asleep. Never having been a napper, I have to accept that which I cannot change right now.
  • Listening to me breathe and saying a short prayer helps me to fall asleep.  Also and bit of milk before bed is wonderful.
  • I used to take one nap, 2-10 minutes, each day. Now I often have a second or even a third. Still getting by on about 6 hours of sleep per typical night, but sometimes 5 or 7.
  • Not significantly. I was never a “big sleeper” and can get by on less than 5 hours of sleep a night. Naps are nice when the mood strikes, but often very difficult to shut my mind off midday. 
  • I sleep less, but need more & continue to enjoy napping 
  • Love naps and seem to need them more as I age and benefit more from them. CPAP has been incredible even though it is the least sexy way to dress for bed. 
  • 7 maybe 8 hours a night is sufficient. In bed between 9-10 up at 5. I would love to be able to nap but I can’t. 
  • Being able to watch a sunrise is a gift offered everyday. I accomplish so much before many are awake. Waking early makes me feel like I’m already winning the day. 
  • I try to get enough sleep during the night and use a CPAP machine to help. If I need a short nap in the afternoon, I take one.
  • I get up a little earlier now and nap whenever time allows and it’s appropriate
  • Going to sleep earlier, waking earlier and needing naps daily and frequent 10 minute timeouts
  • Dream Drops (cannabis tincture) do the trick. Eating early so you’re fully digested helps with sleep. Dessert after breakfast, not at night helps too.
  • The usual once or twice up at night to pee but, fortunately, I can fall asleep quickly. The key is to not wake up at 3:30. Too late to fall back asleep and too early to get up.
  • Frequent naps almost unavoidable and pleasant; my doctor told me decades ago: “Who told you that it’s be easy to sleep as you get older?”
  • UGH, I wake up 2-3 times/night to pee, and then I worry about things.  This never happened when I was 30.
  • Since I got a sleep apnea machine I sleep much more than my previous 5-6 hours of night. I try to get a solid 7 hours. I never took naps but lately have found that once in a while, if I rest my eyes in the afternoon, on occasion I will fall asleep for about 20 minutes.
  • Harder to sleep through the night. My shoulder is always bothering me.
  • My hearing aids amplify only what I don’t want to hear
  • I personally have no hearing loss problems but I talk a lot and think my loved ones are faking hearing loss around me.
  • I still “What, what…” like a duck with well-programmed, $5000 aids. Stone deaf!
  • Haven’t started hearing aids yet, but high frequency hearing loss is present.
  • No issue yet.
  • Hearing has been tested as “normal for a man your age.” My wife has profound hearing loss and I see its effects in her.
  • Everyone mumbles so I ask them to speak up
  • I used to think I needed to hear everything said. Now I know better. Even so, I’m starting to use my hearing aids more often and planning to upgrade them.
  • Tinnitus. Have thought about getting hearing aids ahead of needing them so don’t reject them when I do. :  )
  • Hearing loss seems to affect others more than me – I’m told I’m talking too loud, inappropriate whispers, etc.  I retreat to my AirPods more often. 
  • I likely have more hearing loss than I’ll admit to. Just turn up the TV. 
  • None yet
  • Been recommended for hearing aids since the mid-40’s. At 59 going to be checked and fit for them in 1 week. Very tough – not so much in terms of vanity and how it looks to others (although there is some of that) but how it makes me feel so vulnerable and old. Saw how hearing loss had negative effects, frustration on family members in my home and had to do something. Too much burden on them repeating constantly. 
  • Not yet
  • Closed captioning is my friend!
  • I have slight hearing loss, although good for my age. No hearing aids.
  • It’s just one more thing that I need to pay attention to, because it happens to many people.
  • Still useless in a restaurant
  • About to have my first hearing test for that possibility, will keep you posted.
  • Tinnitus is always there in the background. Its most noticeable in complete silence, so surround yourself with white noise.
  • Not yet
  • Not yet, but I’m worried about it happening.
  • Not an issue yet
  • I am an introvert and enjoy being alone, but I also enjoy my friends, and miss them when it’s been too long alone
  • I love being alone and being with people. My husband and I start the day doing the NY Times Spelling Bee and then I’m ready to be alone for the next several hours.
  • I get lonely but I turn on WFCR music and start to sew/create to bounce right back
  • I don’t feel lonely. I regularly keep in touch, in person and electronically, with family and friends.  And there are non-profit organizations and local political matters that keep me active. 
  • Only when my wife is away…more miss her than lonely. I have an active social and family life but have no problem enjoying down-time.
  • need a bit of alone and action daily
  • I love being alone, but I do miss having people around
  • I love being alone! It’s a struggle to remember to stay in touch with people, even those I adore.
  • Yes!  No.  I’m an Ambivert.
  • Don’t mind being alone for periods, but need to be able to reach people I care about often.
  • I do not get lonely most probably because I am so committed to my work. I have led a solitary life which my work demands, but I also love people. I have always worked hard and have become even more selective with whom I spend my precious time; I want to be around people who uplift spirits and are apologetic when they have been hurtful. I keep aware of what goes on in the world, no matter what wrong decisions are being made politically since the election, and find people with whom to talk it all out.
  • I enjoy being alone one day a week.  I get energized by being with people and try to plan something every day.  Hobbies help loneliness.  I have hobbies.
  • I am usually alone for at least a few hours a day, but rarely alone for a full day. I don’t feel lonely.
  • Yes, I enjoy being alone, and no, I am rarely ever lonely. 
  • As I get older I like alone time more 
  • After 29 years of marriage and 2 wonderful sons, being alone, at times, is more enjoyable than ever. I will go to movies or dinner alone and love it and never thought that would be the case. As a solo consultant I spend a lot of time alone daily and that gets to me. So, I work in social time at the gym and through lunches with friends, colleagues. 
  • Enjoy the companionship of my wife and family but I need alone time also. I either read or exercise. 
  • I’m much more comfortable being alone than when I was young. Somehow when I was younger being with others was tied to self esteem. As I get more comfortable with me, the less I need the company of others. 
  • I am ok being alone, but would love a good companion to do things with.  I try to surround myself with many friends (of all ages)
  • I enjoy some solitude to work on projects. I don’t feel lonely because I have a close family.
  • Yes. No. I connect with others whenever I wish to do so.
  • I live alone and love it.  Solitude replenishes. Still working, teaching so the need for quiet is strong. 
  • Solitude is good, loneliness is not. Back in high school I remember the book How to be Your Own Best Friend came out. Since then, I’ve become someone who can amuse myself pretty well. But, I get the most joy from time with friends.
  • The Web and e-mails give me plenty to be distracted and happy
  • I’m happy to be alone when I’m not with friends–plenty of projects, plus exercise.
  • I enjoy my alone time but live for rich moments with family and friends. I don’t get lonely but do get bored or unmotivated at times.
  • I like my alone time. But, I still have kids in the house so my alone time still comes between 5am and 7am.
  • I teach comedy classes at the local rec center. I meet wonderful people and we connect through laughter and not being afraid to fail.
  • Taking week long road trips to see friends and also see the world
  • Can’t deal with flying, I like staying home in my own bed, with my birds, flowers,  my sewing, art, music, and zoom lectures. Netflix
  • I don’t know that I have
  • The silver lining of Covid was that I no longer feel very guilty about not being in touch with people.
  • I walk every day at sunset, take yoga classes  online, offer painting crits to former students, talk to strangers when I am at the grocery, and keep a journal.
  • I make plans every Sunday night for the coming week
  • I recognize that loneliness is a state of mind, not a reality. Solitude is lovely. Remembering that. As for social isolation, I reach out to people all the time, mostly on the phone. They appreciate it.
  • Hiking and gardening. 
  • Gardening, walking my dog, reading a lot! (10+  books per month)
  • Friendliness at the gym which is a huge part of my life. I make friends there, swim with a masters class and we all go to the hot tub after each class and then many of us have breakfast together – exercise and eating and socializing are so positive and powerful. 
  • I have a large circle of friends, and I volunteer to meet others
  • I have organized a 6 year webinar program for the American Bar Association on various aspects of retirement and later life. One lesson from these programs: get out of the house. Find people with similar interests. Make new friends in your 70s.
  • A non-issue for me.
  • Not an issue.
  • Having regular music sessions with friends. These have become my main form of socialization. And they’re very rewarding.
  • Not a problem
  • Staying active and engaged–I take on new projects and also volunteer in the community.
  •  
  • It was easier to make friends when I had kids in school. I still have old friends. It’s getting cumbersome to keep up with all of them via cell phones but it’s also a gift.
  • I have finally relented to my husband’s reclusive tendencies. It takes time to recover from being with people therefore I do social evenings less often.
  • Still friends with childhood and high school friends
  • More time for friends post retirement but I miss Town Meeting Springtime awakening after the long winter
  • We’ve added new friends, and some old ones have died.
  • Still active with long-time friends and some new ones. Some old time friends have passed, but being regularly involved with playing music, golfing, adult children and grandchildren, reading and yard work keeps me engaged, and all without social media…never touch the stuff. It’ll kill you.
  • many friends from many walks of life but many don’t have the energy of years past
  • I have two friends who have died, plus a number of other acquaintances. It seems to have gotten smaller, yet due to social media, I am more in touch with people from earlier in my life.
  • I don’t much bother with social networking anymore.
  • I have many social networks and I am becoming more discerning now; less interested in some that came from work connections. Too many friends have died in the last few years.
  • At each phase of life I’ve made friends, and moving to each new phase they have gradually changed.  I have limited contact with past friends, exacerbated by COVID, but also due to my choices. I pay attention to the obituaries now!
  • I’ve resumed so many ancient friendships — elementary school, high school, college, friends from former marriages — and made valued new friends, too, mostly activists who care about local issues, not only “bigger” issues, and who don’t focus on blame and name-calling, people who are deeply Jewish and care about Judaism but are more seekers than believers. Neighbors who care about the closeness that’s based on proximity, ice storms, night lights, small favors.
  • I do not put up with narcissists anymore. What a relief! (now that I can recognize the traits). Many friends my age have died. Pain has kept me even more isolated but I know I need to meet new people, to socially open up my life even more. I worry about healing alone in my house after surgery.
  • Yes…people moved and or died
  • I have done this 3 times, and it has been great: I formed a group of 3 people (me and 2 others) and we met every month or so to spend 3 hours in conversation and exploration. We’ve gotten very intimate and supportive, in each of the 3 groups we made. We’ve met in person and on zoom, both great. There’s minimal structure, other than check ins (5ish minutes each), telling about a challenge (10ish minutes each) and following each challenge telling, the other 2 ask clarifying and strategic questions, share what we did in comparable situations, and help each other think it through. I’ve run roundtables that cost several thousand dollars per person, and this is free and pretty helpful, both for thought partners and creating some accountability for yourself, with people who care and who you trust.
  • Many more new friends via Zoom.
  • It has required more and more intention to keep my social life full.
  • Smaller group of friends, often for specific purposes, i.e. hiking. 
  • Home more, just a few friends I see monthly 
  • No time or patience for negative people. Very careful about who I spend time with and let in my life. 
  • Stay away from people that make me uncomfortable. I don’t feel as compelled to socialize as I had in the past. Idol chitchat doesn’t work for me. 
  • It’s amazing how people who are such critical parts of my social circle have changed over time.  The impact of having friends who knew me ‘when’ is a gift. Fewer deeper friendships are better than loads of acquaintances. 
  • Close friends dying or moving away have affected my social life negatively
  • I am no longer going into a large law office, so I have taken on other activities to replace that social setting.
  • I don’t feel the need to do everything for everyone whenever they want (smaller yet tighter social circle now) and keeping up with the Jones’ is a ridiculous notion
  • I like to be with a diverse group of people, not all together, but 1-1 or in max in groups of 4. It’s best when I feel comfortable to be who I am
  • I’m lucky to have a circle of friends that still celebrate the good and difficult together for the past 40 plus years. I still find new friends, fellow travelers. However I no longer have the same energy to socialize during the week when working.
  • Since retiring, I’ve been able to join friends for lunch more often. I find these get-togethers more important than ever.
  • Ditto
  • I’m less interested in being with people who don’t enrich my life–it’s a friggin ‘waste of time, and more interested in finding new people who are interesting, caring and engaging.
  • I drink less and go to bed earlier by midnight when I am with friends.
  • My corgi is always smiling. It’s contagious!
  • Definitely walking on the bike path every day.
  • Taking art classes.
  • Playing the piano.
  • Avoiding confrontation with my siblings.
  • I learned to meditate 50 years ago, and I am nowhere near where I thought I’d be back then, but also a much happier older person than I anticipated.
  • Art, music, nature, creativity…
  • Paying attention to local and more remote political issues.
  • I regularly keep active physically and mentally and keep abreast of current events, read, love to laugh, and rarely think in the negative. I am, by nature, a calm, laid back kinda guy.
  • staying around up beat, positive people who don’t dwell
  • Doing things around the house. Writing novels.
  • I give myself permission to do things like laugh out loud,  be inefficient, spend a lot of time gazing out the window or taking walks, watch videos/tv, and even read novels during the day,
  • The prime thing that gives me satisfaction is witnessing the maturation and successes of my children and their friends, their confidence developing and their perspectives on life and society reflecting some of my own.  Sharing our trials as adults is also rewarding.
  • Exercise with friends, book clubs, women’s clubs, community service and being with grandchildren
  • Remembering that life is a game. It’s all made up and the points don’t matter. Staying lighthearted and loving.
  • Hiking, and being outside. 
  • Being around people that share my ambitions & love & music. I like to dance when I cook & engage with my kids
  • Exercise regularly has been a true life saver. Time with family, kids who have moved out of the house but live relatively close. Spending time with people who make me crack up laughing is so amazing. 
  • Critical to stay positive. How you choose to perceive reality is in your control. 
  • Al-anon
  • Writing gratitude lists
  • Listening to music
  • Exercise, writing books, spending time with friends/family
  • Getting sleep and exercise; spending time with colleagues and friends; being involved with numerous interests;
  • Eating a balanced diet with allowances for cheating (everything in moderation).  Plus physical activity at least 3-4 times per week: stretching and contracting muscles and getting your heart rate up.  It’s really that simple for me.
  • The Alexander Technique. Practicing gratitude. Singing my “Don’t be an Asshole” song to myself when my thoughts stray in the direction of assholery. Walking. Chocolate. Being near water.
  • Playing music alone or with friends is my form of meditation and readjustment. It’s allowed me to focus on what I’m playing and tune out any negative distractions.
  • I try not to dwell on my misbehaviors, semi-successfully
  • Exercise, somewhat healthy diet, and most of all a positive outlook on life–I love reading Stoic Philosophy because, as they say, we’re not “entitled” to happiness or good health.  That helps me put things in perspective.
  •  
  • Keep moving forward. Regret gets you nowhere.
  • Life is a numbers game
  • Don’t fall. That’s the end
  • Keep on trying.
  • Yes, but that is personal and a long-time ago. If it was because of a mistake, I was given the grace to move past it. If it was a tragedy, time has allowed me peace. I am grateful that my life exceeds my expectations.
  • Everybody won’t like you. No one does things because they are “evil.” Everyone rationalizes. You can’t go back and change things so don’t do those things again
  • As an aging ex-in-law used to say, very slowly and drawn-out, in a sequence close to a descending A, E, D , “Well… well… well….”
  • When we share these hardships it is far easier to deal with them.  Every person experiences them – we are not alone unless it’s a choice.
  • Push on
  • I aim for two hours of exercise per day and usually exceed it. I also build in time to read.
  • It’s OK not to achieve the level of greatness I’d expected to. I’ve made a difference and had impact, and that’s more than many get to say.
  • There’s always something more to learn. There are always new ways to grow. Happiness is almost always connected to growing.
  • Inevitable. Either drown in your sorrows, or move forward. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Pretty simple. 
  • I’m more resilient than I thought 
  • Some of the best parts of myself and my life are outgrowths of “failures”
  • When at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. 
  • I follow advice given to me by my in-laws,”Good better best, never rest until your good is better and your better is best “.
  • Sometimes you get what you need and not what you want. 
  • I don’t always know what is best. 
  • Acceptance is the answer
  • Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
  • I am not defined by my job or others.  I have fortitude to make it through the tough times.  Letting go of resentment is REALLY hard and takes a lot of time and effort
  • If you are knocked down, get up; like that inflatable tee once had that you punch and it comes back up. Eventually, disappointments fade away.
  • Learn something from it, get over it, move on. There will be many more challenges to come, so don’t dwell on the past.
  • The problem, my dear, is in the expectations. Read Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle is the Way.
  • Failure is opportunity. The only mistake you can make is intentionally being an awful human being.  Everything else is just part of learning.
  • Often, the unmet expectation was not as important as I thought. 
  • I have overcome them without great effort but I don’t forget them, maybe as much as I might like; I try to be humble about being flawed but it doesn’t work as well as I would like.
  • I’m much stronger than I gave myself credit for.  I survived some bad things, grew from them, and lived to embrace the scars as now being a part of me.
  • As I get older I have come to the realization that I will never be a fighter pilot, live long term in another country or hike the Pacific Coast Trail. AND that’s ok. Being happy where you are today is important for long term happiness (otherwise make some significant changes). I have never worried about failure. It teaches you way more than success. 
  • Hearing that before electric light, people would be up for a while between “sleep 1” and “sleep 2” so I normalized being up in the middle of the night for a while
  • No problems here. More like how to stay awake when most engrossed in a book, play, film, concert..
  • Looking forward to a “new day” in the morning
  • I know how fortunate I am and what a good life I have.
  • Reading, streaming, thinking about what I am writing, talking with my wife about my stepchildren and grandchildren.
  • Counting to nine slowly as many times as possible, Yogi Bedtime tea.
  • That’s not a problem for me!
  • count blessings
  • It’s alright, it’s alright. 
  • All the awesome things in my life & accomplishments I’ve made 
  • I know I am blessed, safe, and have a support system in place
  • My family. Period.
  • Being out of pain.
  • See “Dream Drops.”
  • Creativity and laughter. And streaming British shows. AND CHOCOLATE!
  • Not a depressive person and also very lucky, so no special effort needed.
  • Keep moving.
  •  
  • Making a “stop doing list” to eliminate from my next chapter anything I refuse to do again
  • Creating and actually completing a project, article…
  • There are plenty of things that require attention, and some of them even accept advice from me
  • Enjoying the time I now have to live my life 24/7 without the previously necessary interruption of a job. Careers are not for those who wish to spend more of their life living than working.
  • Retired. Still going into my home office most mornings though I often do nothing but stream and social media. And working on novels–the only item really on my bucket list.
  • Not stressing out is now a high valued health measure, something I owe my children and grandchildren.
  • Working. I don’t imagine ever stopping work. There are so many projects around that I can play with. Maybe I’ll stop remunerative work at some point, but playing with projects, I don’t see that ending while my heart is still beating.
  • Next question. 
  • With great enthusiasm! I’ve already begun doing things I want to do more of: writing
  • I have put a strong focus on living a balanced life – work, play, friends, family and so feel like I can keep going many more years without changing anything
  • As Maynard G. Krebs used to say,”WORK!!”  No work is good for me. 
  • I’m still contributing to my work which I enjoy and saving for retirement.  
  • I see it on the horizon, but still have a lot to give.  I need to have some purpose, so are trying to set things up now, to keep me occupied when I do finally retire
  • I retired from practicing law 5+ years ago and don’t miss it for a second. I am busy every day with projects, interests, groups.
  • Decision made several years ago.  Living my plan and my dream. But not without some fear.  Life is so good now- health, family, etc. and I know it won’t last, so as much as I live in the present moment, and savor it, I also live with a level of anxiety.
  • Not well.  Didn’t plan ahead.  Paid the mommy tax. 
  • In retirement, having the time to schedule the day to fit my energy/mood. Pace yourself! 
  • Been retired too long. I wasn’t thrilled with my work and looked forward to not working. I don’t, however, get the things that need accomplishment done.
  • I’m fully retired, but still quite active in community and in projects.
  • I am thinking a lot about retirement these days. Many of my friends are starting to retire. Currently, I believe I will continue consulting long after I “retire.” I enjoy helping people who are stuck and not sure of the direction they need to go. That fires me up.
  • I am better at detecting probable unintended consequences, which can mean “no”
  • I’m not sure I’ve grown
  • Nope, (not since age 34). Same as I ever was and it worked out just fine.
  • My parents gave me no help in making decisions. I have learned to do it myself. Typically, decide YES then see how I feel. Then decide NO and do the same. At that point, I know which way I want to go. Try not to make on the fly decisions.
  • I appreciate my broader perspective now, and am more accepting of different opinions.  Less emotionally involved in prevailing in a discussion or disagreement.
  • I learned how to prioritize and not indulge in knee-jerk second-guessing.
  • I know what’s best for me and if people say, “If I were you…” I immediately respond, “You’re not me…”
  • I pay more attention to what others think—NOT because I care about that but because I want my message to be taken seriously. That means I don’t want to be dismissed as a quack.
  • Yes. In a big way. I think I take myself less seriously and I’ve come to see value in getting into action faster.
  • Grown. 
  • Grown / I ask for input from a few trusted peeps
  • Now more true to values and self  – easier to make decisions and live with them
  • Think it through, make your decision and don’t look back. 
  • I don’t always have to be right. Other people have good ideas too. 
  • I ask my family for their views much more often, since my daughters are in their 40s and my wife in her 70s
  • Most decisions are not life-changing, so don’t treat them all as if they were
  • I try to practice my own advice, “Resist the urge to rush to solution.” I seek my wife’s opinion more often and respect it.
  • I’m better at pausing before I make a big decision and giving myself time for the right thing to emerge.
  • Generally, doing everything I can to solve the problem until I need to yell “Help!”
  • I haven’t made too many dumb or smart decisions but try to be thoughtful and not reflexive, and am reasonably successful at that. Also, try to be well-informed about what is important.
  •  
  • How much I am a people person, simultaneously a misanthrope
  • I’ve usually been able to relate to different people; I think I still can
  • Despite youthful indiscretions, I always wanted a home and family, and here I am with both:-)
  • That I like being around people. That I am better and more appreciated than I think. That most people never think about anyone else.
  • Despite being quite laid back in my demeanor I can become a worry-wort if I let myself.
  • Listening with respect to all sorts of opinions, making my own assessments, seeking out new information… I finally realized these are strengths not weaknesses.
  • Love being with people and enjoying a good conversation-listening to ideas that are different from my way of thinking…everyone has a story and I love them all…
  • I’ve learned how much fear shapes my behavior, keeps me from being as loving as I’d like to be.
  • Pretty consistent with who I always was. 
  • I am committed to all my relationships – friends, family, colleagues – always was and still am
  • I am who I am and happy with it 
  • Nice guys don’t finish last. Leo Durocher was wrong.
  • Because I’ve been consistent in my lifestyle choices of proper diet and exercise, I’m not surprised that I think I’m in pretty good shape (body and mind) for someone my age, relatively speaking
  • I can be more self-disciplined when I want to.
  • Still find I can talk easily to people of all walks of life. I’m also still not someone who seeks out new people. Have to work on that.
  • I am often surprised about how people mistake my glibness with intelligence and insight.
  • A positive attitude and good sense of humor is a huge bonus in getting thru the ups and downs of life.
  • I am better at realizing I need boundaries and am entitled to them
  • For what? I don’t have any boundaries except physical ones
  • I’m not sure I recognize boundaries
  • Any boundaries I have I have always had…they are baked into who I am. If you mean physically…sure, not as spry as I was at 29, but I feel no more  boundaries mentally than I did at 29.
  • I say NO more often.
  • I’m still not good at boundaries, but at least I know it, and stay away from people in general.
  • Yes–my kids taught me about boundaries…their boundaries and I appreciate them without anger or surprise.  I can only be in control of me…
  • Yes! Much better about boundaries & how i communicate my boundaries 
  • Much better about direct conversations in relationships about boundaries – especially with wife and kids but also with friends
  • Just because they are family, doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries. 
  • I understand my limits and do as much as I can within them.
  • Sure have.  I try not to overextend myself or cause myself undue stress, unless the situation dictates so.  Saying “no” or “not yet”, is very liberating and leads to less stress and lets me manage my schedule and priorities better.  
  • I don’t think I have.
  • I don’t care as much what someone thinks of my truth.  I still strive for kindness and diplomacy. I still bear some remnants of  the Good Catholic Girl training of my childhood.  But I’m better able to stand up for myself and not waste time with people who do not share my values.
  • Learned to know when to ask for help, and not feel ashamed.
  • It’s not something that I’ve given thought to.
  • Yes, I am more in touch now with what I want and need and am more willing to let others know.
  • If you’re good at keeping in touch and they are not, it’s your job
  • Don’t know if I’ve learned anything, I still talk a lot and say what I think, for good or ill
  • Never really thought about it. I have friends old and new, and never had much problem regarding friendships. 
  • You have to work at it and take the lead sometimes and I’m finding it takes more effort I’m not always willing to provide!
  • My closest friends are low maintenance and so am I.
  • Be kind and attentive without judgement
  • I’ve learned in this realm that 80% of life is just showing up. It helps to appreciate people.
  • We all have an amazing story to tell, don’t sell others short. 
  • There are some friends I can share anything with & some I can’t. I’m discerning about that. Ie I don’t feel judged by Ira & a few others in my life so I can be fully me
  • Be discerning – I have tended to open up too quickly to new friends and and get hooked into unbalanced relationships 
  • It takes work. 
  • If I think I wish I was in better touch with  XX, I should get in touch and not stand on ceremony. 
  • Be present.  Sometimes a friend just needs someone to listen to them.  Not try to fix them
  • People who like me like me. If I like them, that helps. I’m as surprised as Sally Field
  • Allow them to be themselves and appreciate them for that.  Don’t try to change anyone to suit you.
  • Ask questions and listen.
  • Listen and don’t interrupt.
  • Not much. I’m still very grateful that my friends reach out to me, considering what a lousy correspondent I am.
  • I’m lucky that people accept me for who I am and haven’t lost friends that I can remember, and retain friends because they are generous.
  • Friendship is a two way street. I don’t need people just to fill my time, so I have become more selective.
  • Friends come in different shapes and sizes. Some are short term and we have fun but our connection is short lived. Others are around for the long haul. I believe family and friends are everything. Health and finances are just things that allow us to engage with them.
  • It has always been a strength, and also a defense mechanism; I am less prone to make mean jokes
  • I always have a quip to quote
  • It is always important 
  • By nature, humor is a big part of my personna…my wife (having raised 3 sons) loves that I am, at times, still a silly boy. We love to laugh and can get pretty juvenile.
  • Always been a constant. I like mock haranguing my wife and she smiles/laughs as well.
  • I didn’t laugh much until I was in my 60s. Now I laugh all the time.
  • Humor has always played a major role, socializing and interacting with friends and family.  It remains an important influence, but now I realize it’s for my enjoyment as much (or more) than for others.  The oft belittled and denigrated ‘Dad’ jokes are particular favorites despite the lack of appreciation they receive.
  • Humor is wonderful…not sarcastic, but heartfelt
  • I love to laugh and to be silly (grandparenting is great for both). I don’t like cruel humor.
  • It’s big.
  • It’s a coping strategy” 
  • Laughter & joy is a big part of my every day. My husband & I are very goofy & my kids too
  • Tremendous part of my life. My family – from parents to kids – all have a great sense of humor. Humor can help manage life’s challenges and traumas as well as accentuate joy!
  • I enjoy laughing more. I don’t need to prove to anyone I am a serious person. 
  • Lots. I read books and watch TV shows that I find funny. I’m endlessly amused by my two grandsons.
  • Huge role.  Always has, always will.  Stress reliever, and self-deprecating humor keeps me grounded too.
  • A vital part.  Gotta laugh every day!!!
  • It has always been my coping mechanism. Now more than ever.
  • Humor has always been central to my life. It got me through everything since high school! My yearbook quote was “Comedy is the last refuge of the non-conformist mind.” I finally understand and appreciate it now. 
  • I never stop being jokey because at the very least it amuses me even when it might annoy others.
  • Huge role–We are born, we have the ups and downs in life, we have hopes and aspirations and then some crushing disappointments, and some of us have faith and hope. But ultimately, most of us die a horrible death–One just has to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
  • You have to laugh at it…whatever “it” is. Life is too short to get stressed, angry and all the other negative emotions.
  •  I am so glad I’m not in pain, and surrounded by everyone I love
  • Haven’t thought about it.. I will live forever
  • I have not thought of “last words” yet
  • Ditto, but it would not be in my nature to.
  • Haven’t thought about it. Hopefully not banal or dumb. But maybe so. My father’s last words were “How did I get to be this old?” about a week before he died. My mother, on her last weekend with my brother and sister, I told her “Time to come clean. Tell them you loved me best.” She smiled broadly. I have always treasured that moment.
  • Don’t know what my last words will be, but I’d like to tell those who love me to appreciate and enjoy their lives rather than dwell on missing me!
  • I’ve had a wonderful life.  Thank you all.
  • I was loved, lived well, and made a difference.
  • Stay well.
  • Au revoir (not goodbye). I don’t really believe in death.
  • Thank you 
  • Good bye. Love you all! This should be exciting!
  • See you around.
  • I’ve had a good life. I will miss you. 
  •  WOW!  As I look into the face of GOD!
  • “How could I have fathered a child at 102?”
  • Actually, “I love you all.”
  • Hopefully when I’m really really old, I want to go out on my own terms, so maybe my last words will be:  “Damn chute won’t open!”
  • “Die?” That’s  the last thing I’ll ever do.”
  • I love you all. Or “All my passwords are in the folder in the blue bin near the table.”
  • I think you’re looking for the guy in the next bed over!
  • Have you checked my grip?
  • I am at peace.
  • I didn’t start the fire, but I probably could have done a ton more to extinguish it.
  • While I admit I could have done more to try to affect society in a favorable direction (in my view), I am comfortable with my attempts.  I will continue to do what I am able, though it is more limited than before.  I also feel strongly that the younger generations need to be willing to accept what has evolved or resolve to be active in changing it rather than blaming us for it.
  • More like sad (distraught). And bewildered. We had good intentions and thought we were making good progress in healing the world, but it’s worse than when we inherited it. Climate change, baseless hatred and cycles of violence, self-righteousness and cynicism, nihilism… it’s terrible.
  • It sucks
  • I’ve been an activist for peace, social justice, and the environment since I was 12. I could have done much more, but I feel that what I did helped to create a better world or at least mitigate some of the problems with the world we have.
  • Not in the least bit. And I am not convinced the world is all that troubled and different from previous generations. Does anyone remember the 70’s. The 60’s, WWII, WWI, etc. etc. 
  • I think it’s their opportunity now. Life is a gift.
  • Despondent
  • None of those. I have lived responsibly and have done what I could to contribute good to and for society. 
  • I’ve worked hard to make the world a better place (cleaning the environment and helping teens thrive). I’ve done my best not to make it worse. 
  • I know I have done the best I can to alleviate some of the heartache in our society by feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, and clothing those in need
  • Not in the least. I didn’t start the fire.
  • I do what I can to help.  That lets me sleep at night.
  • NMFP
  • Yes.
  • Doing what I can to help. But, I have a feeling every generation finds out for themselves when they’re ready to hear/understand. 
  • No
  • I don’t feel responsible or guilty. I did my best to improve things.
  • I’ve evolved into a more satisfied and appreciative person than I thought I’d be.
  • You can’t really appreciate getting “older” until you do.
  • Y’all just need to dial it back on your personal politics. No one party is all right, or all right. Seek first to understand. 
  • Live in the moment, plan for the future. 
  • It does get better! There is so much wisdom, I enjoy seeking input from folks who have gone before me on different journeys. I wish I took more advantage of it when I was younger. 
  • Don’t wait too long to retire – no one knows what the future holds
  • Make the absolute most of whatever time you have left. Keep growing and trying new things. Count yourself lucky that you got this far.
  • I keep a printed quote by James Clear closeby so I can read it often (long but paraphrased):  “Whatever age you are today, your future self would love to be it.  Today is a great opportunity, no matter your age. And the moment in front of you right now is  a good one, so make the most of it.”
  • Another quote I love (unknown author), “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing”.   Probably my favorite quote on aging.
  • Have gratitude for the big and the small.
  • Like the song says: Be thankful for what you’ve got!
  • I will look at this eBook more because I have no doubt that I will learn from it.