Ira’s Modern Haiku









You have no standing
to interfere in my life
so sit the fuck down

They’re out of Beer X
Who cares? I’ll just have water
Thus says my best self

All Jeff Goldblum is
Everything he says and does
Annoys me so much

Glad I’m not a bird
Complex thinking doesn’t help
And so few options

My collected stuff
Is easily disposed of
So I can relax

If you wave thank you
When I stop and let you cross
I pronounce you good

What chance do we have?
Lions hear a mile away
Bears smell us coming

High expectations
I’m doing the best I can
So leave me alone

See below 3 haikus I made for Western Mass companies, followed by my usual stuff:


my haiku for Meghan Lynch and Six-Point Creative– I look forward to being her next podcast guest on Building Unbreakable Brands




My haiku for Mitch Anthony  a branding expert who knows how to teach other marketing professionals how to go deeper.


Here’s my haiku for Andrea Bordenca and DESCO (and her other ventures Lead Yourself Youth and Venture Way Collaborative and more!



Back to my usual haikus:

I think I’d enjoy
solitary confinement
with good room service

It took a long time
to be happy with myself
still far from the goal

Useful idiots
managing the RMV
that will not be fun

They are BOTH too old
One is an evil moron
The other isn’t

Six minutes per side
You’ll miss me knowing that fact
If/when I vanish

I forgot my belt
on a childhood vacation
it was traumatic

Law of the Jungle
We should know better as the
Crown of Creation

my hygge cafe
trusty laptop gets work done
while I cogitate

media reports
that I am old, or “older”
but “younger” lingers

Ugh, I’m so my moods
When I feel good, am I “me”?
But not when I suck?

What world do I want?
One that helps me live my life?
Or helps dumb despots?

Did I raise you right?
Will the world be good for you?
Do you feel my love?

There is a bias
“I live in the worst of times”
Still, it’s when I lived

I hope we survive
Magically joining forces
Would that not be grand?

Gratitude’s helpful
Appreciate that you’re loved
How that helps us live

I hate Jeff Goldblum
he annoys me perfectly
as does Kathy Bates

The loud guy talks most
That is cafe etiquette
Also most boring

hotel breakfast club
bad bacon, bagels, coffee
mankind I can’t stand

Family planet
We are all conjoined siblings
Kill me, kills you too

If you don’t believe
that there’s a God in Heaven
are you not allowed?

As God likes to say:
“Ye are a stiff-necked people,
Stop being so dumb!”

Optimism helps
but not as much as hard work
towards a sane planet

Looking within me
there is something divine too
that’s so much better

We tolerated
Climate chaos deniers
Soon we’ll swim with them

I love this tableau
rain/ coffee/ fan/ morning news/
calm to embrace it

Packing for vaca
almost forgot that gizmo
that gets my sock on
(no longer needed, 5 months after hip replacement)

Said no to pastries
Deprived but then lost some pounds
Still, scones are so good

I am not on Earth
To build my great resume
But to know myself

Without any home
Except a confident shell
Repels and protects

Goal: “purpose-free calm”
No return on investment
Reason: just to be

Hunger must be fed?
Who died and made hunger king?
What if I felt it?

I just remembered
you brought pastrami for lunch
I feel understood

Hip hurts when I mow
Bees thrive when I mow badly
Problem solved somewhat

Is peace on the list
of what is OK to feel
in a broken world?

The world’s exploding
“unscheduled disassembly”
we meant to do that

Bravely die in vain
for a cause you’re born into
historic blooper

Have Chronic Shpilkes
I said that in Junior High
Still working on it

Was life this tinny
Before I wore hearing aids?
Cranking up the bass

I see time as real
but reality has rules
so I’m stuck in time

I lack that strong pull
to get my way (so screw you!)
misnamed “leadership”

I’m no Joie de Vivre
but survived a sad mother
who wished “Life is Good”

In one hundred years
remember us as heathens
hoping you exist

Learning to listen
First know it’s a good habit
As good as talking

When one wears a mask
They can read and move their lips
No one thinks they’re dumb

sometimes an insight
I remember from childhood
I realize again

Before dawn, a fox
Red, with a bushy black tail
Ran by, with a limp

I wish to not judge
The young bore with vocal fry
And his loud girlfriend

Not every actor
Needs to have something to say
Every single scene

When I learned to work
right away I knew half-baked
was unusable

Life is empty space
It’s what you make it, but no
You’re what it makes you

He praised my patience
Shpilkes has guided my life
glad it might not show

thanks, universal
truth, love, lived experience
making me want more

This is not a fight
My generation v yours
I used to be you

when in a foul mood
unsubscribe me from all lists
strange when a stranger

Reasons I do things
that look cautious, elderly,
help me be less old

billions of brilliance
and panicked absurdity
stumbling forward

Friends who search for me
who allow me at my best
thanks for your consent

Red and yellow leaves
show up when chlorophyll fades
what should fade in me?

Listening within
I am what is not me there
That is who I am

Don’t be a shirker
Said my responsible dad
Now I can’t relax

If you judge yourself, just say
I’m better than them<

So many nudniks
who are not accountable
for their mishegas

Years when squirrels bloom
they are deer in the headlights
Does more mean dumber?

I’d love to knock out
the bastard ruining the earth
But there’s too many

I’m not disciplined
Yet I ride my bike daily
But more cause it’s fun

Feeling fraudulent?
your disingenuity
may not be helping

is not uninterested
what I learned today

Watch the rainy day
who cares what I accomplish,
what I choose to not?

Being sane and kind
Avoiding parental-ing
That is my sonnet

2 lobsters per day
I offer to all despots
To end their madness

Believe in an afterlife
Would I still go there?

Hold yourself upright
for what purpose? to impress
others on all fours?

When are you happy?
“When you lose and find” dad said

Call of me as bird:
“Share my food!” FUCK! “Share my food!”
Why can’t I shut up!?

Abuela and child
So easily enjoying
The love between them

Who would want a “T”
on their rapid test?, and yet
the suspense thrills me!

If I was more like
I wish I was, you’d like me
more and so would I

early hints of spring
thinking of kayaking soon
beer while mowing lawn

I wouldn’t like jail
My crime would not be foolproof
Plus it would be wrong

Your soul is putrid
Your joy is a zero sum
Billions abhor you

Alive for many years
Each day is the very first
Before tomorrow

Who said I’m perfect?
You may have misunderstood
me say “not perfect”

I’m no naysayer
but you’re full of some ideas
that need dissuasion

Just learned it’s always
Midnight at the North Pole – wow
Can’t wait to share this!

I love any day
Where I needn’t make my bed
But I still make it

First time I saw snow
I’d enjoy it more if it
was always like that

There is one damn place
Where my discipline declines
Inhibiting’s hard

Be your own best friend
Includes being an adult
Not child or parent

We are the heroes
and you are the assholes, cause
that’s just how we feel

“Good enough mother”
Turns down the pressure cooker
I am good enough

Goal-free v Aimless
an Important Distinction
in the Game of Life

Hungry ghost be damned
Being satisfied is nice
If you’re satisfied

I parent myself
I send myself to my room
To go within more

How do I love thee?
I cleaned out rotting fridge food
It was disgusting

Life is not different
than it was when I felt good
so feel good, dammit!

“in it to win it”
but then, “in, not of, the world”
life’s big juggling act

You think “Life is Good”
Despite evidence it’s not
That makes my life good

how to invest my free time?
productive futzing

If you only did
What you say you only do
Life would be better

“Let there be light” said
the power that let us be
and choose thrive or die

Jerk’s car weaves past me
Making record time, till crash
Average group speed down

I don’t see just how
I contribute to the mess
but I’m sure I do

It helps me to know
I’ll be forgotten one day
Less pressure to “win”

“Noise” is to my mind
As heat is to an engine
Not what it’s made for

Roundabout design
Doesn’t consider needs of
entitled people

Now at 68
I can finally shut up
just a little bit

Soft strong call “Ohai!”
Dog bounds up stone wall to her
Allison power

Did you ever feel
fraudulent at being you?
kidding, me neither

Scrambled eggs again
Where nobody knows my name
But still feels homey

“Life is Good” she hoped
Overcame morphine to slog
Through her to-do list

Are we just our moods?
When we feel X we are X?
Stupid universe!

Is this wise advice?
“Begin with the end in mind”
I’ll be dead- so no

Erikson’s last stage:
integrity or despair
Pros V Cons are clear

“maturity” means
I’ve lived long enough to doubt
I know everything

you won’t see, in hell
“fine people from both sides” there
they’ll all be assholes

My belief that I’m
a stranger in a strange land
is true, and not true

If there were no God
Simply that we are alive
Is pretty divine

Sherlock’s special skill
is knowing where you have been
but not where you’ll go

is what makes a person smart
that’s why you are dumb

Who knew that the curse
“live in interesting times”
would be so boring?

What you said is false
We are not afraid of change
We’re afraid of dumb

Life is surprises
sometimes global pandemic
sometimes feeling good

every winter’s mood
this hell will last forever
and then it’s over

“Keep Calm, Carry On”
need to achieve and maintain
not my normal state

Pickled herring, Yum!
But suggestion: have a mint
When donning your mask

How to fix the world?
Help people row together
Each in their own boat

I owe you something
for me to be my best self
we both benefit

If a pandemic
Has some odd good consequence
That’s not an “upside”

right to swing your arms
ends where my nose/mouth begins
wear your mask, dummy!

aiming for sane, calm
in this “special period”
good time for lessons

“Nothing to be done”
Godot expresses “Regrets,
social distancing!”

on zoom; out window
many strangers strolling past
humans getting by

I don’t pray, I hope
telling you I care feels good
if it works, do it

Hug friends I admire
Eat street food, hold hands at films,
I want normal back!


why I need to be better:
so I can help us commune
so I can see beautiful
so I can love what I love

my mood improves after
focusing within, good coffee,
a substantial bowel movement
life’s secrets are varied and elusive

that couple sipping coffee
and making small talk
are not writing a poem
about me spying on them

I have burned in my brain
“slow down, you move too fast”
as advice for someone else
but it actually seems wise

there is hardly a downside
to focusing “within inside”
so what seems crucial
stays in perspective

trying to get perspective
on where one is at
is not living in the now
too self conscious

I respect my own journey
arriving at a place
where I am me
I’m just a person

weird free day
plane cancelled, fly tomorrow
I might go to the circus
I might eat a lobster roll

What’s wrong with this picture?
man in woods, on a cabin porch
watching his breath, writing poems
nothing, so be that person

Life needn’t be a race
to some mountaintop finish line
and then they build a statue
and everyone remembers

it no longer feels phony
to try to be my best self
to look carefully
not afraid to see

we might be soul mates
as we seem to qualify
as willing to be ourselves
and become known well

on a perfect cabin porch
near a radium hot spring
all is as calm as you’d want
get my mind in tune

the faint traffic sounds
subplot to gigantic Rockies
doesn’t disturb me
or that huge chipmunk

my coffee’s slogan:
“wake up and kick ass”
but I am feeling serene
I am amped up to chill out

log cabin look and feel
imprinted on me as pure and real
Lincoln, and Lincoln Logs
have succeeded in their branding

Dogs seem to like being mastered
owner takes away the stress
of eating their kill
and keeping peace with wolves

why is sad my default?
generations escaping bias
what I’ve added in bad ideas
my work is cut out for me

what’s attractive to humans
is indecipherable to an ant
loyalty, beauty, ideas of love;
nothing compared to that spilled food

so easy to break what you made
and then it’s irreparable
so think hard, maybe inhibit
maybe behave, maybe survive

learned cosmic particles hit
like a hockey puck at 100 mph
are we that dense, to not notice?
so much going on that I don’t know

this hotel utilizes materials
from nature, all around here:
slate, bison, spruce, all transformed
a zero sum interior redecoration

I enjoy: walks on the beach,
holding hands at movies,
feeling that life has no purpose
“for a good time, call Ira”

my entire adult life
I have had the means and ways
to feel the goodness within
how do I still not realize that?

short term community, on this plane
cooperating and behaving just enough
tens of thousands of pounds of humanity
go here to there and then off

white shirt, fun professional socks
done with work on plane
now winning or losing his phone game
returning, victorious or defeated

my high value is high paying
could work so many fewer hours
but the confidence it takes
to say you deserve it!

I did plight my troth
didn’t know I “pledged my truth”
but that’s what I did

this person knows me
loyal, despite my defects,
I should try harder

Independence Day
do they just hate our freedom?
or that we hate them?

If I were a tree
It would help me be stately
To know all trees die

Icy Civic skids
Muffled, comfy, in control
All’s well with the world

If I lose my mind

And can’t remember at all

I may arrive late

The older I get

I learn “I am what I am”

But feel free to change

Much of our wisdom

Is spent on understanding

What loved ones just meant

When I die, it’s yours

It was given to me too

Nobody owns it

Does Superman feel

A gentle, loving caress?

He must feel the pain, too

Ants don’t learn to build

if not perfect, it won’t work

only success lasts

Old men all too loud

To be heard above the roar

In this greasy spoon

Eighty five thousand

Thoughts per day go through my head

Which are the real me?

I am me in part

By how we are together

I am in context

I hear what you said

But my ears are connected

To my fragile mind

Saturday morning

Quick stroll to bacon and eggs

Catch up on podcasts

Greek, Cuban, Deli
Indian, Chinese, Veggie
Faves on desert isle

Hammer in a nail
there are other solutions
ways to connect stuff

what do chipmunks think?
my house is their country club
and I’m intruding?

Big bright cardinal
Slumming at our bird feeder
Now off to elsewhere

what has life taught me?

epitaph for future gens

“I’m rubber, you’re glue”

It’s work to keep up
with old friends who knew you when,

know how you got here

Within the silence
bedrock, where one can touch down

what’s false dissipates

Naked audience
That method is unnerving

Keep your shirts on, please!

my dream vacation

Grand Rapids in goal free state

many hours to futz

new law: president

must speak in 5-7-5

“tremendous disast!”

You banged my cart, sir!

how about some eye contact?

You’ll see I exist.

What to do today?

so Earth’s in a better place

than when I woke up

bird protects its nest
swoops down, pecks back of my head
nature runs afoul

Why are folks my age

Appearing to look so old?

Like my grandparents!

Swiftly flow the days

this little girl I carried

we both think we’re young

Befriend young people

To see they’re not killing me

Why would that help them?

Shoving rocks uphill

How happy was Sisyphus?

Yay, I did it!! oops

the planet knows not

how we have afflicted it

still lives, dies, evolves

Dear amygdala:

Why can’t you calm the fuck down?

Everything is fine!

your child takes a chance
to create a healthy world

it’s ok to brag

Guy ground stumps, made holes

Said “fill w 6 bags topsoil”

Perfect fit! Genius!

Will I scream like that?

When I tell a long story

when old, at Kelly’s?

Humans reaching out

To not kill, plus be charming

Ants have it easy

No need to suffer
performance anxiety
if you don’t perform

Family business

Easy, if love and trust rule

If not, follow rules

In reality

Monday’s not worse than Friday

They are both not real

Talking to people

less dementia/ suicide

“how was your day, dear?”

Laying Zach to rest

Village gathers to love him

Blessed memory

How do free and brave
Elect such uptight cowards!?
Throw/ vote the bums out!!

How my job is done
By 40 other people
Mixed love and learning

It was impolite
So I minded my manners,
didn’t kill Hitler

Which world do you choose?
– let us reason together
– Sit down and shut up

Two score with one wife
Through poor, sick, worse, plus cherish
Wins best friend forev

I heard you read these
So let me thank you, Patty
For undying love

Wedding machiah
Tribes unite to affirm them
Good golly! Mrs!

One hundred degrees
MoviePass, a/c, mindless,
Good for what ails ya

Perfect weather day
To meditate butt naked
Gentle breeze from fan

Longevity genes
could mean I’ll survive until
my shit’s together!

Your title is great
What are you entitled to?
How did you earn it?

After waterfall
That excellent Chinese place
Middle of nowhere

busy work schedule
met in three different cafes
bottomless network

Life is staycation<
I can’t get away from me
here I am again

No brave without fear
I’ll be brave about my fear
and not fear my brave

I Yam What I Yam
but past performance doesn’t</
guarantee future

When I’m feeling good
I don’t care that you’re so loud
Even so, shut up!

when you’re a stranger
it’s not that people are strange
maybe it’s your breath

Everyone who’s died
Has discovered what happens
If anything does

My humble life goal
Is to mind my own business
I am not your judge

I’d like to believe‬
That the sane will inherit
‪Our crazy planet‬

Nobody’s going
to punch my freaking lights out
so I can relax

Bought myself air buds
2 taps brings Siri and pause
Makes them worth one fifty nine

too many squirrels!
running right under my wheels
“thin my stupid herd!”

such friendly cashiers
chatting up customers with
>10 items or less

used my precious time
feedback to cafe owner
no reply: messed up!



“A prince among his pals, we hate to see him go”

Said classmates at Jamaica High School in 1937

What experience did the yearbook committee have

Of that man I loved, years later?

Where did he get that feeling of invulnerability

That gave him the freedom to answer Yes!

To the classic shoplifter’s threatening question

“Are you calling me a thief??

Where did he get the entrepreneurial verve

To leave the safety of his father in law’s

Wholesale bedding and bath store

To buy in to an unknown cousin’s childrenswear store?

What affection might he have ever had

For the woman who he made my mother

And though they lacked chemistry

Stuck it out till they were both diminished

That man coached me with simple truths

That were profound and real for him:

First be a mensch / Cheap is dear /

If they bought only what they came for, who needs you?

Gone 6 years, finally memories predate his dementia

His determination to be the one who makes the sale

Follow the money, but deliver the goods

Simplicity is rich, he was richer than he knew.

Our world has never been

in such a predicament,

you think, until you realize

that since the beginning, some A-hole

ran some country; and their drunken effects

alter your life, inflicting in ways that seem so real

You, here, now, hurt by bitter, savage, miserly

honchos, royals, brethren of old

Still you have good days and bad

still, you’ve made something of yourself

despite the world resisting your success

despite your own mind, another despotic force

You went beyond, making your home safe

you risked a reliable, plodding path

you dragged yourself to where you were needed

and jumped in (first planning, then jumping)

So now, from whatever your height or depth

how will you alter lives?

what does your name on the door do to help?

what business is it, of yours, to add to the good?

Ira Bryck 12/19/18