Ira’s Modern Haiku
One’s dignity’s worth
what you’ll give up to sell it
and who’s your buyer
life could be so sweet
if we’d pull heads from asses
make us great for once
Worst rom com ever
the idiot gets the girl
crown and throne await
(I wrote lines 1 + 2; perplexity wrote the 3rd line; I did prompt with “idiot= president, and “girl= ultimate power and authority”)
I cannot hire you
because you can’t do the job
and also, you’re nuts
I can only think
you must believe what you say
as hard as that is
If you don’t keep calm
you carry on anyway
but leave us a mess
If you only get
negative reinforcement
that is what feeds you
There is no mandate
though we share values and goals
leaders are astray
Fear of the unknown
if we’re curious and strong
might help us be brave
Interesting times
the baloney of the real
enemy within
What if heaven is
every day the way I like?
Is that good enough?
eight billion humans
such intelligence and grace
so many morons
I love the 5-7-5 of haiku, though it’s increasingly not a rule. But on this page of my haiku, I will occasionally do other stuff, for instance:
Humorous perspectives
are peacock feathers,
indicating capacity
to not fight till death,
according to behavioral economists.
And that same perspective
might calm the brittle soul,
give soft invulnerability,
allow constructive rest,
provide traction to advance
and embrace in the void!
Accommodation
takes kindness, not about you,
lifetimes honing it
Surprise life lesson
that to be my own best friend
would still be a thing
My anxiety
My responsibility
You are not its cause
If you knew only
morons agree with your claims
would you please shut up?
I forgive myself
how I let myself suffer
from my own damn mind
It’s hard to believe
That hope might make things happen
Allowing something
Crustacean delight
27 bucks per pound
I’ll have the chicken
You’re undecided?
You seriously don’t know
he’s an evil dope?
As I keep living
I see my own oddities
Were pretty normal
What a curse if you
can’t not be a big asshole
Can’t even fake it
When robots triumph
Will legit intelligence
Be banned, to save jobs?
Democracy Lives!
if you use your right to vote
to beat a tyrant
Love it or leave it
Means care for it or move to
Russia or other
Asking you to test
Feels like I think you’re unclean
But who wants cooties?!
Dumb and evil merge
when dumbbells do evil stuff
or evils do dumb
“That’s a good question”
not telling you how to be
but thinking with you
I’m no naysayer
would you like if I called you
useful idiot?
You have no standing
to interfere in my life
so sit the fuck down
They’re out of Beer X
Who cares? I’ll just have water
Thus says my best self
All Jeff Goldblum is
Everything he says and does
Annoys me so much
Glad I’m not a bird
Complex thinking doesn’t help
And so few options
My collected stuff
Is easily disposed of
So I can relax
If you wave thank you
When I stop and let you cross
I pronounce you good
What chance do we have?
Lions hear a mile away
Bears smell us coming
High expectations
I’m doing the best I can
So leave me alone
haiku for Meghan Lynch and her company Six-Point Creative. Hear us on her podcast Building Unbreakable Brands:
We find your power
to achieve your business dreams
help next gens flourish
My haiku for Mitch Anthony, a branding expert who knows how to teach other marketing professionals how to go deeper.
Listen and notice
succeed by understanding
who you serve and help
Here’s my haiku for Andrea Bordenca and her company, DESCO
While fixing machines
we build trust and belonging
attract joy at work
I think I’d enjoy
solitary confinement
with good room service
It took a long time
to be happy with myself
still far from the goal
Useful idiots
managing the RMV
that will not be fun
They are BOTH too old
One is an evil moron
The other isn’t
Six minutes per side
You’ll miss me knowing that fact
If/when I vanish
I forgot my belt
on a childhood vacation
it was traumatic
Law of the Jungle
We should know better as the
Crown of Creation
my hygge cafe
trusty laptop gets work done
while I cogitate
media reports
that I am old, or “older”
but “younger” lingers
Ugh, I’m so my moods
When I feel good, am I “me”?
But not when I suck?
What world do I want?
One that helps me live my life?
Or helps dumb despots?
Did I raise you right?
Will the world be good for you?
Do you feel my love?
There is a bias
“I live in the worst of times”
Still, it’s when I lived
I hope we survive
Magically joining forces
Would that not be grand?
Gratitude’s helpful
Appreciate that you’re loved
How that helps us live
I hate Jeff Goldblum
he annoys me perfectly
as does Kathy Bates
The loud guy talks most
That is cafe etiquette
Also most boring
hotel breakfast club
bad bacon, bagels, coffee
mankind I can’t stand
Family planet
We are all conjoined siblings
Kill me, kills you too
If you don’t believe
that there’s a God in Heaven
are you not allowed?
As God likes to say:
“Ye are a stiff-necked people,
Stop being so dumb!”
Optimism helps
but not as much as hard work
towards a sane planet
Looking within me
there is something divine too
that’s so much better
We tolerated
Climate chaos deniers
Soon we’ll swim with them
I love this tableau
rain/ coffee/ fan/ morning news/
calm to embrace it
Packing for vaca
almost forgot that gizmo
that gets my sock on
(no longer needed, 5 months after hip replacement)
Said no to pastries
Deprived but then lost some pounds
Still, scones are so good
I am not on Earth
To build my great resume
But to know myself
Without any home
Except a confident shell
Repels and protects
Goal: “purpose-free calm”
No return on investment
Reason: just to be
Hunger must be fed?
Who died and made hunger king?
What if I felt it?
I just remembered
you brought pastrami for lunch
I feel understood
Hip hurts when I mow
Bees thrive when I mow badly
Problem solved somewhat
Is peace on the list
of what is OK to feel
in a broken world?
The world’s exploding
“unscheduled disassembly”
we meant to do that
Bravely die in vain
for a cause you’re born into
historic blooper
Have Chronic Shpilkes
I said that in Junior High
Still working on it
Was life this tinny
Before I wore hearing aids?
Cranking up the bass
I see time as real
but reality has rules
so I’m stuck in time
I lack that strong pull
to get my way (so screw you!)
misnamed “leadership”
I’m no Joie de Vivre
but survived a sad mother
who wished “Life is Good”
In one hundred years
remember us as heathens
hoping you exist
Learning to listen
First know it’s a good habit
As good as talking
When one wears a mask
They can read and move their lips
No one thinks they’re dumb
sometimes an insight
I remember from childhood
I realize again
Before dawn, a fox
Red, with a bushy black tail
Ran by, with a limp
I wish to not judge
The young bore with vocal fry
And his loud girlfriend
Not every actor
Needs to have something to say
Every single scene
When I learned to work
right away I knew half-baked
was unusable
Life is empty space
It’s what you make it, but no
You’re what it makes you
He praised my patience
Shpilkes has guided my life
glad it might not show
thanks, universal
truth, love, lived experience
making me want more
This is not a fight
My generation v yours
I used to be you
when in a foul mood
unsubscribe me from all lists
strange when a stranger
Reasons I do things
that look cautious, elderly,
help me be less old
billions of brilliance
and panicked absurdity
stumbling forward
Friends who search for me
who allow me at my best
thanks for your consent
Red and yellow leaves
show up when chlorophyll fades
what should fade in me?
Listening within
I am what is not me there
That is who I am
Don’t be a shirker
Said my responsible dad
Now I can’t relax
Competitiveness
If you judge yourself, just say
I’m better than them<
So many nudniks
who are not accountable
for their mishegas
Years when squirrels bloom
they are deer in the headlights
Does more mean dumber?
I’d love to knock out
the bastard ruining the earth
But there’s too many
I’m not disciplined
Yet I ride my bike daily
But more cause it’s fun
Feeling fraudulent?
your disingenuity
may not be helping
Disinterested
is not uninterested
what I learned today
Watch the rainy day
who cares what I accomplish,
what I choose to not?
Being sane and kind
Avoiding parental-ing
That is my sonnet
2 lobsters per day
I offer to all despots
To end their madness
83%
Believe in an afterlife
Would I still go there?
Hold yourself upright
for what purpose? to impress
others on all fours?
When are you happy?
“When you lose and find” dad said
Appreciation
Call of me as bird:
“Share my food!” FUCK! “Share my food!”
Why can’t I shut up!?
Abuela and child
So easily enjoying
The love between them
Who would want a “T”
on their rapid test?, and yet
the suspense thrills me!
If I was more like
I wish I was, you’d like me
more and so would I
early hints of spring
thinking of kayaking soon
beer while mowing lawn
I wouldn’t like jail
My crime would not be foolproof
Plus it would be wrong
Your soul is putrid
Your joy is a zero sum
Billions abhor you
Alive for many years
Each day is the very first
Before tomorrow
Who said I’m perfect?
You may have misunderstood
me say “not perfect”
I’m no naysayer
but you’re full of some ideas
that need dissuasion
Just learned it’s always
Midnight at the North Pole – wow
Can’t wait to share this!
I love any day
Where I needn’t make my bed
But I still make it
First time I saw snow
I’d enjoy it more if it
was always like that
There is one damn place
Where my discipline declines
Inhibiting’s hard
Be your own best friend
Includes being an adult
Not child or parent
We are the heroes
and you are the assholes, cause
that’s just how we feel
“Good enough mother”
Turns down the pressure cooker
I am good enough
Goal-free v Aimless
an Important Distinction
in the Game of Life
Hungry ghost be damned
Being satisfied is nice
If you’re satisfied
I parent myself
I send myself to my room
To go within more
How do I love thee?
I cleaned out rotting fridge food
It was disgusting
Life is not different
than it was when I felt good
so feel good, dammit!
“in it to win it”
but then, “in, not of, the world”
life’s big juggling act
You think “Life is Good”
Despite evidence it’s not
That makes my life good
semi-retired
how to invest my free time?
productive futzing
If you only did
What you say you only do
Life would be better
“Let there be light” said
the power that let us be
and choose thrive or die
Jerk’s car weaves past me
Making record time, till crash
Average group speed down
I don’t see just how
I contribute to the mess
but I’m sure I do
It helps me to know
I’ll be forgotten one day
Less pressure to “win”
“Noise” is to my mind
As heat is to an engine
Not what it’s made for
Roundabout design
Doesn’t consider needs of
entitled people
Now at 68
I can finally shut up
just a little bit
Soft strong call “Ohai!”
Dog bounds up stone wall to her
Allison power
Did you ever feel
fraudulent at being you?
kidding, me neither
Scrambled eggs again
Where nobody knows my name
But still feels homey
“Life is Good” she hoped
Overcame morphine to slog
Through her to-do list
Are we just our moods?
When we feel X we are X?
Stupid universe!
Is this wise advice?
“Begin with the end in mind”
I’ll be dead- so no
Erikson’s last stage:
integrity or despair
Pros V Cons are clear
“maturity” means
I’ve lived long enough to doubt
I know everything
you won’t see, in hell
“fine people from both sides” there
they’ll all be assholes
My belief that I’m
a stranger in a strange land
is true, and not true
If there were no God
Simply that we are alive
Is pretty divine
Sherlock’s special skill
is knowing where you have been
but not where you’ll go
Curiosity
is what makes a person smart
that’s why you are dumb
Who knew that the curse
“live in interesting times”
would be so boring?
What you said is false
We are not afraid of change
We’re afraid of dumb
Life is surprises
sometimes global pandemic
sometimes feeling good
every winter’s mood
this hell will last forever
and then it’s over
“Keep Calm, Carry On”
need to achieve and maintain
not my normal state
Pickled herring, Yum!
But suggestion: have a mint
When donning your mask
How to fix the world?
Help people row together
Each in their own boat
I owe you something
for me to be my best self
we both benefit
If a pandemic
Has some odd good consequence
That’s not an “upside”
right to swing your arms
ends where my nose/mouth begins
wear your mask, dummy!
aiming for sane, calm
in this “special period”
good time for lessons
“Nothing to be done”
Godot expresses “Regrets,
social distancing!”
on zoom; out window
many strangers strolling past
humans getting by
I don’t pray, I hope
telling you I care feels good
if it works, do it
Hug friends I admire
Eat street food, hold hands at films,
I want normal back!
A FEW QUATRAINS, AND THEN MORE HAIKU, BELOW:
why I need to be better:
so I can help us commune
so I can see beautiful
so I can love what I love
my mood improves after
focusing within, good coffee,
a substantial bowel movement
life’s secrets are varied and elusive
that couple sipping coffee
and making small talk
are not writing a poem
about me spying on them
I have burned in my brain
“slow down, you move too fast”
as advice for someone else
but it actually seems wise
there is hardly a downside
to focusing “within inside”
so what seems crucial
stays in perspective
trying to get perspective
on where one is at
is not living in the now
too self conscious
I respect my own journey
arriving at a place
where I am me
I’m just a person
weird free day
plane cancelled, fly tomorrow
I might go to the circus
I might eat a lobster roll
What’s wrong with this picture?
man in woods, on a cabin porch
watching his breath, writing poems
nothing, so be that person
Life needn’t be a race
to some mountaintop finish line
and then they build a statue
and everyone remembers
it no longer feels phony
to try to be my best self
to look carefully
not afraid to see
we might be soul mates
as we seem to qualify
as willing to be ourselves
and become known well
on a perfect cabin porch
near a radium hot spring
all is as calm as you’d want
get my mind in tune
the faint traffic sounds
subplot to gigantic Rockies
doesn’t disturb me
or that huge chipmunk
my coffee’s slogan:
“wake up and kick ass”
but I am feeling serene
I am amped up to chill out
log cabin look and feel
imprinted on me as pure and real
Lincoln, and Lincoln Logs
have succeeded in their branding
Dogs seem to like being mastered
owner takes away the stress
of eating their kill
and keeping peace with wolves
why is sad my default?
generations escaping bias
what I’ve added in bad ideas
my work is cut out for me
what’s attractive to humans
is indecipherable to an ant
loyalty, beauty, ideas of love;
nothing compared to that spilled food
so easy to break what you made
and then it’s irreparable
so think hard, maybe inhibit
maybe behave, maybe survive
learned cosmic particles hit
like a hockey puck at 100 mph
are we that dense, to not notice?
so much going on that I don’t know
this hotel utilizes materials
from nature, all around here:
slate, bison, spruce, all transformed
a zero sum interior redecoration
I enjoy: walks on the beach,
holding hands at movies,
feeling that life has no purpose
“for a good time, call Ira”
my entire adult life
I have had the means and ways
to feel the goodness within
how do I still not realize that?
short term community, on this plane
cooperating and behaving just enough
tens of thousands of pounds of humanity
go here to there and then off
white shirt, fun professional socks
done with work on plane
now winning or losing his phone game
returning, victorious or defeated
my high value is high paying
could work so many fewer hours
but the confidence it takes
to say you deserve it!
I did plight my troth
didn’t know I “pledged my truth”
but that’s what I did
this person knows me
loyal, despite my defects,
I should try harder
Independence Day
do they just hate our freedom?
or that we hate them?
If I were a tree
It would help me be stately
To know all trees die
Icy Civic skids
Muffled, comfy, in control
All’s well with the world
If I lose my mind
And can’t remember at all
I may arrive late
The older I get
I learn “I am what I am”
But feel free to change
Much of our wisdom
Is spent on understanding
What loved ones just meant
When I die, it’s yours
It was given to me too
Nobody owns it
Does Superman feel
A gentle, loving caress?
He must feel the pain, too
Ants don’t learn to build
if not perfect, it won’t work
only success lasts
Old men all too loud
To be heard above the roar
In this greasy spoon
Eighty five thousand
Thoughts per day go through my head
Which are the real me?
I am me in part
By how we are together
I am in context
I hear what you said
But my ears are connected
To my fragile mind
Saturday morning
Quick stroll to bacon and eggs
Catch up on podcasts
Greek, Cuban, Deli
Indian, Chinese, Veggie
Faves on desert isle
my house is their country club
and I’m intruding?
Big bright cardinal
Slumming at our bird feeder
Now off to elsewhere
what has life taught me?
epitaph for future gens
“I’m rubber, you’re glue”
know how you got here
what’s false dissipates
That method is unnerving
Keep your shirts on, please!
my dream vacation
Grand Rapids in goal free state
many hours to futz
new law: president
must speak in 5-7-5
“tremendous disast!”
You banged my cart, sir!
how about some eye contact?
You’ll see I exist.
What to do today?
so Earth’s in a better place
than when I woke up
Appearing to look so old?
Like my grandparents!
Swiftly flow the days
this little girl I carried
Befriend young people
To see they’re not killing me
Why would that help them?
Shoving rocks uphill
How happy was Sisyphus?
Yay, I did it!! oops
the planet knows not
how we have afflicted it
still lives, dies, evolves
Dear amygdala:
Why can’t you calm the fuck down?
Everything is fine!
it’s ok to brag
Guy ground stumps, made holes
Said “fill w 6 bags topsoil”
Perfect fit! Genius!
Will I scream like that?
When I tell a long story
when old, at Kelly’s?
Humans reaching out
To not kill, plus be charming
Ants have it easy
No need to suffer
performance anxiety
if you don’t perform
Family business
Easy, if love and trust rule
If not, follow rules
In reality
Monday’s not worse than Friday
They are both not real
Talking to people
less dementia/ suicide
“how was your day, dear?”
Laying Zach to rest
Village gathers to love him
Blessed memory
How do free and brave
Elect such uptight cowards!?
Throw/ vote the bums out!!
How my job is done
By 40 other people
Mixed love and learning
It was impolite
So I minded my manners,
didn’t kill Hitler
Which world do you choose?
– let us reason together
– Sit down and shut up
Two score with one wife
Through poor, sick, worse, plus cherish
Wins best friend forev
I heard you read these
So let me thank you, Patty
For undying love
Wedding machiah
Tribes unite to affirm them
Good golly! Mrs!
One hundred degrees
MoviePass, a/c, mindless,
Good for what ails ya
Perfect weather day
To meditate butt naked
Gentle breeze from fan
Longevity genes
could mean I’ll survive until
my shit’s together!
Your title is great
What are you entitled to?
How did you earn it?
After waterfall
That excellent Chinese place
Middle of nowhere
busy work schedule
met in three different cafes
bottomless network
Life is staycation<
I can’t get away from me
here I am again
No brave without fear
I’ll be brave about my fear
and not fear my brave
I Yam What I Yam
but past performance doesn’t</
guarantee future
When I’m feeling good
I don’t care that you’re so loud
Even so, shut up!
when you’re a stranger
it’s not that people are strange
maybe it’s your breath
Everyone who’s died
Has discovered what happens
If anything does
My humble life goal
Is to mind my own business
I am not your judge
I’d like to believe
That the sane will inherit
Our crazy planet
Nobody’s going
to punch my freaking lights out
so I can relax
Bought myself air buds
2 taps brings Siri and pause
Makes them worth one fifty nine
too many squirrels!
running right under my wheels
“thin my stupid herd!”
such friendly cashiers
chatting up customers with
>10 items or less
used my precious time
feedback to cafe owner
no reply: messed up!
SOME LONGER POEMS:
A POEM FOR MY FATHER, BILL BRYCK
“A prince among his pals, we hate to see him go”
Said classmates at Jamaica High School in 1937
What experience did the yearbook committee have
Of that man I loved, years later?
Where did he get that feeling of invulnerability
That gave him the freedom to answer Yes!
To the classic shoplifter’s threatening question
“Are you calling me a thief??
Where did he get the entrepreneurial verve
To leave the safety of his father in law’s
Wholesale bedding and bath store
To buy in to an unknown cousin’s childrenswear store?
What affection might he have ever had
For the woman who he made my mother
And though they lacked chemistry
Stuck it out till they were both diminished
That man coached me with simple truths
That were profound and real for him:
First be a mensch / Cheap is dear /
If they bought only what they came for, who needs you?
Gone 6 years, finally memories predate his dementia
His determination to be the one who makes the sale
Follow the money, but deliver the goods
Simplicity is rich, he was richer than he knew.
Our world has never been
in such a predicament,
you think, until you realize
that since the beginning, some A-hole
ran some country; and their drunken effects
alter your life, inflicting in ways that seem so real
You, here, now, hurt by bitter, savage, miserly
honchos, royals, brethren of old
Still you have good days and bad
still, you’ve made something of yourself
despite the world resisting your success
despite your own mind, another despotic force
You went beyond, making your home safe
you risked a reliable, plodding path
you dragged yourself to where you were needed
and jumped in (first planning, then jumping)
So now, from whatever your height or depth
how will you alter lives?
what does your name on the door do to help?
what business is it, of yours, to add to the good?
Ira Bryck 12/19/18
