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Pet Peeves

I am a very pleasant, generous, “abundant” person; but raised in a 5778 year tradition of having many more negative descriptors than positive (schmuck, schlimazel, schmedrick, yutz, et al… versus mensch – even “chochem” literally “wise person” is often used to mean “one who THINKS he’s smart”) so it’s no surprise that I am a tad judgemental. Here are a few of my unfavorite things: 

  • loud talkers in restaurants, whether they are hard of hearing, want to share their insights with everyone in the place, or just not in touch with their own volume dial
  • my wife telling me I’m talking too loud in restaurants
  • restaurant servers who seem blind to you trying to get their attention- isn’t that MORE work, in the end, having to deal with angry customers?
  • in an uncrowded restaurant, being seated in a clump, next to the very few other people there
  • people who seem unaware of the hostility in their “jokes” (ok if you ARE aware, and ARE funny — as a test, try to ascertain if laughter sounds either awkward or self-righteous )
  • people who don’t know an elevator pitch should be the length of an elevator ride to the 2nd or 3rd floor
  • sales or service people on the phone who talk a mile a minute, not considering they may be talking to an aging baby boomer who may enjoy understanding what is being said to them
  • pedestrians or fellow shoppers who don’t make eye contact, not only about being friendly, but to indicate where they are going, and instead would crash into you if you didn’t swerve out of the way — this is not a “New York City people are so unfriendly” thing – it happens in Whole Foods in Hadley, Mass
  • people who don’t socialize out of their age group, social class, cool factor, etc, so only talk to people with the same worldview, prejudices, tendencies; and have their minds made up when they hear anything about anything out of their comfort zone or database of experiences
  • people who think they are the arbiters of who is funny, and THEY ARE NOT FUNNY!!
  • who doesn’t hate aggressive drivers, who don’t signal, tailgate, weave in and out, cause untold accidents? but what I especially despise about that is the selfishness and narcissism that makes that person feel entitled to threaten and endanger everyone else
  • that police seem to never be there to pull that idiot over, bring in a car compacting truck, and squash that stupid Acura right on the spot
  • fun loving drunk drivers who think my street is the appropriate place to toss their beer cans and nips
  •  men who walk with their hands clasped behind their back- why is that so repulsive to me? It’s a boundary violation- your airspace only extends to the end of your buttocks (this applies especially in line- my wife insists on me clarifying that point)
  • men with big hairy arms who hang them out of their truck or car when they drive
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